[Own Your Life Wed] UpRoot Victim Mindset

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Because of social media, we are all seeing just how much people can hurt themselves and others by what they post.  We are getting to witness one another’s journey from really dark places calling us all – at one point or another – to participate in the complete and total collapse into powerlessness.   We also see people posting uplifting quotes to encourage us all to think differently about the problematic areas of our lives.

Maybe you have contemplated the question, “Why don’t people just pick up a book, buy a program or attend a free webinar to start learning how to think and do things differently?”

As an educator who has worked with thousands of other people’s children, raised three of my own in a blended family and had troubles focusing and believing myself smart enough to learn as a child, I have an answer to to this question:  the very people who need the help a good book or program could give them often have accepted disabling labels about themselves and do not believe they can focus long enough to learn anything new.

Many people’s problems are so overwhelming that far too many believe that positive change is just going to be too hard.  That’s why I am moved to help as many people as possible learn simple, straightforward steps that are accumulative in bringing better results quickly and easily.  We begin today with getting to the root of where it all begins so we can change it more easily …

Reaching out …

UpRoot a Victim Mindset 
Excerpt from Victim No More: Diffusing Bully Behaviors UTrain Program

Some fifty years ago, there was a study that, even though cruel, observed exactly how the psyche remains committed to “that’s just how it is” mindset even though things are becoming very uncomfortable.

The experiment involved frogs.  They dropped a frog into scalding water.  The frog jumped out immediately, and saved its own life by doing so.  You and I would do the same.  If we find ourselves in extreme pain or imminent danger, we will flee immediately.

The next phase of the experiment was to put the frog in a pan with tepid water and place the pan on a burner.  The fire under the pan was turned up ever so slowly, until ultimately it was boiling.  The frog did not jump out and ultimately died.

What this illustrates about changing unproductive behavior is that, lacking a shocking, disruptive event, we tolerate a slow and steady increase of pain.  It is numbing, rather than alarming.

We have possibly learned that we are basically powerless to change “certain” situations and approaches in our lives that are harmful.

It’s the little things that, when repeated over time,
will yield either huge success or debilitating failure and loss.

To change it would be a risk.  This may have something to do with why people have more heart attacks on Mondays than any other time.  It’s about having to go back to that job, where the heat has been turned up gradually over time until it literally kills them to remain there.

The “heat” can be a variety things: a dysfunctional, abusive work place, or the loss of passion and purpose in that particular form of work.

Let’s go a little further. The scientific term for how we experience our world is called “premature cognitive commitments” which is how victim mindsets can be formed.

If you’d like to learn about my #1 trick that diffuses bully behavior in 30 seconds or less  …

Read my latest blog!

Heart Publishing, the Pacific Northwest