CMS SPRINT #1d: Don’t have time? or Don’t have time not to!

Dear Difference Maker,

A lot of folks think they don’t have time to learn better ways to deal with the social emotional aspects of unproductive behaviors.  But actually, there’s some new thinking on that.

Here’s why I say that …

People believe they don’t have time for social-emotional problem solving because:

•      They are juggling too many plates as it is, so they are somehow exempt from learning a better way to be empowering to others (which will have a long-term effect – i.e., teach them how to fish!)

I was right there with them. In fact, here’s what I used to believe and why:

•      In my first year of teaching, I accepted a job where the students had gotten the teacher before me fired. It was a rural school with grades 3, 4, 5 and 6 in one classroom. Talk about not having enough time! Four lesson plans a week in every single subject, plus p.e., music, art and recess.  The previous teacher’s “go to” methods were punishing, policing and punitive, which clearly had not worked out for her.  However, out of fear, I began by following in her footsteps.

Let me share with you why I don’t think that way anymore:

•      One day, I had a moment of clarity. I heard my mother’s authoritarian, entitled and condescending rant coming out of my mouth at a behaviorally disruptive group of students. The shock of hearing myself stopped me mid-sentence. I had promised myself at the age of 17, during one of her full-on demoralizing rants, that I would never speak to any child the way she spoke to me.

Ultimately, I realized that, when you are faced with an old, worn-out way of doing things that only causes harm to others and yourself, you must make time to learn and/or do something different to change the result.

Here’s how things have changed:

•      Rather than saying to myself – as many do – “Verbal and physical abuse worked on me and I turned out OK!” – make time right here, right now to find a better way, as I did.

From that day forward, when dealing with unskillful behaviors, I asked myself:  “How would I have loved to have been treated growing up, when I was messing up?”

That day, it took all of 30 seconds for me to know exactly what I needed to do differently to get this group of unfiltered kids turned around behaviorally and academically.

I started building a team “one for all, all for one” mindset with them.

Years later, I took this Team Synergy training to audiences around the country as a Educational and Corporate trainer for National Seminars Group.

What this can mean for you is that when you are working with an unruly, unfiltered, unhappy group of students or colleagues, make the time to learn about and then apply the synergistic power of team building now offered in my UTrain Team Synergy Program with 9 – 30 minute unifying conversations starters and activities.

Don’t have time not to!

According to the Institute of HeartMath, it takes between 1-5 hours after an emotional upset for the body to restore its homeostasis of the heart and nervous systems.

Of course, it could be more than 5 hours depending on whether we ruminate for hours and hours, or learn how asking unifying questions can open people’s hearts and minds toward each other.

Remember this:

When an outburst occurs, met by fight, flight, flee or flip out responses, every person in the environment loses the next 1-5 hours of concentration and productivity.

Wouldn’t it be better to concentrate on making time to build socially safe relationships as the way to avoid or minimize the outburst altogether through team building?

If you only teach the kids having a hard time, you miss teaching the class.
If you ignore the kids having a hard time and teach the class,
you lose struggling kids through the cracks.
Whatcha gotta do is teach ALL the kids how to treat the one kid
who is most likely only hanging on by a thread.
-Tomeka Ray, Grandmother of a Special Needs Student

To help people who feel like Tomeka does when working with colleagues and today’s youth, I invite you to check out my UTrain 9 Week Team synergy Program that I’m offering right now with 25 FREE I Make A Difference Wristbands (FREE Shipping), so you can feel seen, heard and felt every time you want to be.

This IS How To Create A Socially Safe, Inclusive, Equitable
Community with 9 – 30 minute Unifying
Team Building Conversation Starters and Fun,
Thought Provoking Exercises ($49 Value)

My 9 Week Team Synergy UTrain Program:

1. Makes it easy to get you out of your funk and back into the light to reach out to someone else in need of a kind word and a soft smile …

2. Has unifying questions that will help everyone on your team experience how to find the words to connect with someone, to show who they are to you and what difference it makes …

3.  Nine built-in activities and conversation starters that help people feel better because, as you already know, people who feel better, do better each and every day!

For people who don’t know how to read the emotional room!

I’d like to invite you to check out the Free Excerpt of my 9 Week Team Synergy Training.   The 25 FREE I Make A Difference wristbands that you will need in Week 4 ends soon so click here …

Reaching out …

Founder of Heart Productions & Publishing LLC, the Pacific Northwest